SPEAK No Evil !!!
Ohhhhhhh WHEN will I ever get this right??? I got in an argument today. With an 87 year old lady! Uh-huh... yep.... A little OLD lady! A very rude little old lady!I was in the Hallmark store. She was in line behind me. I was paying for my purchases. It went something like this:
OL (very cranky to clerk) : Do ya HAVE a place in here for a person to sit down?
this is a Hallmark store...
Clerk: No ma'am... I'm sorry, we don't.
OL: (crankier) Well you should HAVE a place in here for a person to sit down! I'm an 87 year old woman and I got bad knees and you should HAVE a place for a person to sit down!
she has a point....
Me: (Looking behind me and not even thinking that I should keep my mouth CLOSED) Perhaps if YOU said please. (and no, I didn't say it sarcastically... but I did feel it sarcastically!)
OL: YOU stay out of this! All I did was make a request!
definitely did not ring of request to me...
Me: "Requests" are usually either preceded or followed by the word PLEASE. You didn't make a request. (heeeeeeeere we gooooooo!) YOU were RUDE! (now, who's being rude???)
OL: (yelling) I was NOT rude! YOU'RE being rude! (correct!) And you shouldn't talk to me like that! I'm 87 years old and I have BAD knees and I NEED a place to sit down!
Me: You're right... I'm being rude too. (but did I say I'm sorry? nooooo... the "sorry" word did not come out of my mouth...) BUT, you were being rude first and I felt a need to defend this young lady. She can't defend herself because she would get fired!
OL: (screaming) I WAS NOT BEING RUDE! I am an old OLD lady! I am 87 years old!
Me: (getting irritated) But being 87 years old does not give you the right to treat other people rudely.
OL: I was NOT rude! YOU are rude and impertinent and you should respect me because I've lived longer than you!
Me: Yes ma'am... and in 87 years, I would have thought you would have learned some manners.
At which point the OTHER worker in the store, brought the old lady a stool. She was appropriately grateful.
OL: Thank you dear! Thank you! You are so kind! I'm just an old old lady and I need a place to sit down. And SOMEbody is calling me rude.
And then I was done paying for my stuff. The clerk whispered "thank you" and I told her to have a nice day! But as I was driving home, I sure wished I'd told that old lady I was sorry. I was. I was very sorry she was being so rude! And ... I was very sorry I couldn't keep my mouth SHUT! *sigh*
posted by Melli at
1:34 PM
13 comment(s):
Melli, my grandma is 89, and I love her dearly, but I think she does believe she has license to say whatever she likes because of her age. She has been known to talk aloud about how fat this lady is or how that lady has a horse face...etc...you get my drift. While I do believe in respecting elders, I don't think they should say whatever is on their minds and think they can get away with it. I do think your old lady was rude...and while I can't say you acted with utmost respect, I do have to say that I might have done the same thing. I HATE people that go out of their way to be rude or belittle other people, and I usually have to speak up. (((HUGS))) to you...from someone else who doesn't know how to keep her feet out of her mouth! :)
By
Jennifer, at
2/24/2007 2:41 PM
Melli, I love that you defended this young lady! It shows what a good heart you have and why I love ya.
By
Twisted Cinderella, at
2/24/2007 3:13 PM
lol Melli!
You're right...and she knows better!
By
Deb @ Sugarfused, at
2/24/2007 3:13 PM
Well, Melli let me see...since I was not there and I did not hear this whole conversation and the tone in which it was all said i guess I should really NOT have an opinion...You know one thing I have witnessed since I am becoming OLDER...is that there really is no respect out there for older people...NOW I am not taking one side or the other!! This OL might have been mean and believe me I have seen some that really are...but I have also seen the other direction where younger people have been very disrepectful to me!! I had always thought that I would have some respect coming to me as I aged!! You know like OLD WINE!! Smile. But it is not out there anymore. I have always respected my elders..I was taught that but I can see with each birthday that people are not giving that to me!! I think it is good that you stood up for the younger lady. She was just doing her job.
You are like me though in the respect that my mouth has a time staying shut!! It will open when I am not wanting it too and I find myself saying things that I did not know I was going to start talking about!! Just remember that you wanted her to use some better manners and you were trying to help!! No damage done there!! Maybe OL will think more next time..Let's hope so...Sandy
By
Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess, at
2/24/2007 3:56 PM
Well, if you want my opinion ---No? Well, here goes anyway....
All I can say is that I do NOT know what I will be like at 60 let alone at 87! And so many younger people are very disrespectful to the aged. I would have stayed out of it---I would have kept my mouth shut and walked out. The girl/woman behind the cash register was an adult and old enough to stand her ground.
If she chose to ignore the insult and blabber, then so be it.
She may have been cantankerous, but again, I don't know just how she's been treated in her life...let alone how other have been to her even this day of shopping.
At 87, she has every right to ask for a stool!! Bringing her a stool or even being a bit courteous to her [not you, the clerk] ---it may have sufficed. There are too many older ones that are pushed and shoved because of age!
All I can say is, remember this in another 40 years or so......
No, I'm not being disrespectful to YOU either. It's again, I just don't know what I'm going to be like at her age.
By
Hootin Anni, at
2/24/2007 5:01 PM
Nah, don't feel guilty. Them old ladies aren't so sweet. Trust me!
I had an incident also this week. There is this old lady that we call "Hagatha" that lives across the street.
Her real name is Norma but she didn't bring ID with her to the bank Thursday and bickered, raged and ranted in line in front of me at the teller.
I sorta chased her out of there when my patience wore out after 10 minutes.
By
Margaret, at
2/24/2007 7:02 PM
and in 87 years, I would have thought you would have learned some manners
Best sentence of the day! Melli, you are so me. The public would not be safe if we went out together!
By
Anonymous, at
2/24/2007 7:42 PM
She only got the stool after you got involved and the shouting match about who was ruder erupted. So, I'm thinking it is probably a good thing you got involved. *grin* Little old ladies can be very trying...sort of like kids.
By
Anonymous, at
2/24/2007 7:45 PM
It's probably good that you told her that she was being impolite, so that from now on, "hopefully", she will request her demands in a more polite way instead of lashing out at anyone, anywhere, at anytime.
By
Anonymous, at
2/24/2007 7:56 PM
Oh Melli, I just love you! Sometimes it is hard to stand by when someone is being rude to the employee of a store. OK, so maybe you should have told the OL you were sorry but you certainly made the cashier feel better!
By
Jane, at
2/24/2007 8:50 PM
Melli,
I read what the other wrote and what you wrote and I probably would have stayed out of the skirmish with Anni. LOL. But that said, I think you were correct to say what you did, old lady or no old lady. While I believe in giving the elderly my complete respect, I always tend to rationalize incidents like this and think, if they are rude today, chances are high they were probably RUDE as a younger person. This has nothing to do with age! It has everything to do with consideration for your fellow man. And you did just that. For the clerk. The old lady was wrong to think the store should have a seat to accomodate her. If she can't stand the shopping, stay home!
Just my two cents worth!
HUGZ!!
By
Unknown, at
2/24/2007 10:33 PM
Do an unexpected good deed for an elderly person, maybe it will make you feel better.
By
Unknown, at
2/24/2007 11:36 PM
Oh Melli...I just know we are "kindred spirits"...my mouth goes like this too sometimes. I forget and I get frustrated and I just let it all out...it's not pretty...and I know it...but SOMEBODY has to stand up for (whatever injustice is happening). I'm sure the clerk was thankful.
Who knows, maybe the lady rethought her tone last night...just like you are rethinking here?
My kids always buckle up for the ride when they know I am sensing some rude service or unkindness in workplaces. Then I think "what kind of example am I setting for them?" And I TRY really I do...it's just sometimes I don't get it right...taming the tongue is HARD!
The beautiful thing about grace, though, is that we get other chances.
May God bless you this week...and my He give you opportunity to extend the grace He's given you to someone else.
Blessings and HUGS!!
:-) Susan
By
Susan, at
2/25/2007 1:15 PM
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