NONSENSE!!!
Serious nonsense - but nonsense just the same! So I got a call back from Mom's doctor telling me that a) her blood work is all good! That's the good news! And b) there apparently is NO help for me in our community until Mom gets to the point of needing HOSPICE or something similar! I'm thinking this is just utterly ridiculous -- but Pastor has been looking into things (unaware to me) and HE is having a heck of a time coming up with ANYTHING outside of the Baltimore area too! I am not even remotely close to being included in the Baltimore area -- and would not even be willing to drive that far for say a "support group" or anything like that... so this is just totally UNacceptable! But for the moment, it's looking like this IS what it IS! We are all going to continue looking -- and we'll see! I think we must all be barkin' up the wrong trees... there's got to be some magic little pocket we haven't hit on yet!On a better note -- Dennis and I were finally able to GET (signed, sealed and delivered) Power of Attorney for Mom this week! And God BLESS those lawyers! He certainly blessed US with them!!! They totally turned their little heads and looked the other way in allowing her to sign those papers - and they witnessed them! I knew we were BLESSED when our attorney introduced her associate to Mom and Us.... and then Mom turned around and introduced US -- "This is my son, Dennis (which she only remembered because OUR attorney had just said his name!) and ... um... uh... a real good FRIEND of ours!" OY! But they laughed and made a joke - and I knew it was going to be okay! Right down to having to tell her her own initials in every slot she had to initial, and the date in every spot she had to date! If ANYone EVER contested this we would be sooooooooo sunk! Thankfully, Dennis IS the only living child and so no one will.
It's not that we couldn't GET Power of Attorney - if we HAD to go through the courts -- of course we could! (sOMebody has to be able to take care of her!!!) It would just be a lot more traumatic and involved! And totally un-necessary -- which obviously these two ladies understood and appreciate.
Today we go for her memory evaluation. Krysti wants to go along because she thinks it's going to be fun! And it could be... but I'm thinking it might be more like torture to watch... There is a fine line between what is hysterically FUNNY -- things like putting her bra on backwards! -- and things that are just too sad... like not having a clue where she lives or who she lives with. I often times wonder during the day who does she think I am??? Why does she think she's with me??? But if I ASK her... it appears she doesn't think at all. She just accepts. And that is saddest of all.
posted by Melli at
10:35 AM
10 comment(s):
Even though she may not know who you are she at least feels comfortable around you. You are her safe place to land and that's saying alot. Bless you for blessing her.
By
Lazy Daisy, at
2/14/2008 11:33 AM
This is not nonsense at all. This is your LIFE right now!! I feel like Daisy does that she feels safe and comfortable with you whomever you are to her!! She really is in a land of her own. I would so hate this if it were me.
My dad is nothing at all like this. In fact, Mother says he is getting better by the day. We still believe that he had a pin stroke that day. She says somedays he is better than she is. smile.
Thanks for the nice email to me though. I am keeping it..just in case.
Have a Happy Valentines DAy!!
Sandy
By
Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess, at
2/14/2008 11:40 AM
Lazy Daisy - I dO understand that I am her safe haven -- she is becoming verrrry dependent on me. George has BEEN replaced!
Sandy - Sandy - what I meant by "nonsense" is that it IS nonsense that I can't get any HELP around here!!! ... and I am just SO happy that your Dad is doing SO much better! That is the BEST news!!!
By
Melli, at
2/14/2008 11:50 AM
It makes me wonder how many caregivers are "suffering" alone because they are in areas like yours that has limited resources. And that's simply NOT OK! I am praying you dig up some support and that it makes a difference for you and for her as well as in your community.
Much Love,
Susan
By
Susan, at
2/14/2008 1:20 PM
Hi Melli, It is sad that you have no resources available to help you in your community.I think that caregivers like you need a break some times to give you a rest. You need to relax and treat yourself to a outing by yourself....God bless you for being there to help her.Hugs, Baba
By
Baba, at
2/14/2008 3:02 PM
Susan - I'm SURE there ARE resources available! We just haven't hit the right source yet. Apparently we are the first family that Pastor knows of in our parish to have an alzheimer's parent living with them - there is another who's father lives with a sibling out of county. But that doesn't help. The neurologist I took her to today for the memory eval. seemed to know of a support group IN county. She's going to get me the number. And she did know of adult day care (where you take your person TO them) but insurance does not cover them. (honestly I didn't think they would -- but Mom HAS resources that we can use for that!)
Baba - Thanks! Tis TRUE! We DO need a break from time to time. Read above what I wrote to Susan! I'm still hopeful!
By
Melli, at
2/14/2008 8:26 PM
Melli, if you need help and can't find it in your community I am willing to bet you have neighbors in the same boat. Maybe someone -- a church is a lovely place to start -- can organize that care?
By
Anonymous, at
2/14/2008 11:23 PM
Try the Council on Aging or AARP. Sometimes they have information that the other groups don't. You might also contact a local Nursing Home... they have information galore!!
xo
LBC
By
Ladybug Crossing, at
2/15/2008 7:04 AM
If I understood well your MIL had to sign her own papers and the attorneys witnessed that she is still able to think ??? That's unbelievable ! Now I wonder when my uncle in Madison changed his last will if it was the same case !
But don't think that your MIL is unhappy or it is sad that she doesn't remember who she is. We would think it because we are still "normal" but people like her feel in a completely other way. It is not a "moral" feeling anymore it is only "physical" and if she is well fed and well taken care of and can do what she likes to do with limits of course just like a little child then she IS happy !!
I see it with my friends husband; He doesn't even recognize his own sons and would ask my friend "What's the name again of your son ?" But each time I see him I think I have never seen such a happy man. He is all smile when he gets a piece of cake or when he can watch TV all day (and always the same things) It was very hard for my friend to learn to deal with him, her own husband, can you imagine ? She even has to number his clothes so that he doesn't put them on in a wrong way. And he too doesn't remember what he had done just 10 min before.
So please don't worry, she is fine I am sure !
By
Ingrid, at
2/16/2008 3:13 AM
Seems Mom is your newest challenge in life. I know you take this as a lesson - you are far wiser then I! So I know you will handle all this with humor and ease. Heck, you have raised twins for crying out loud!! (applause please!!!) I know in your situation I'd be up and down - ROTFL sometimes - and sad and depressed other times. Try to stay in the humor. God doesn't give us more then we can handle (or so I'm told - I'm still on the fence about that one!).
Take care.
By
Unknown, at
2/16/2008 9:55 PM
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