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Thursday, January 29, 2009

An Interview With ... Moi! (Part II).... and WEATHER... at last!

And so the interview continues... Dr. John asking me...

4. Name five things you learned from Luz?.

Let's go in backward order on this one - K?

5. Pirates are cool! I never thought so before... but viewing them through the eyes of a 4 year old brings out the BEST in them!

4. I learned that worms make GREAT pets... as long as you don't drop them!

3. I've learned that what a child likes to do with Mommy, and what a child likes to do with Nana is two entirely different things -- and I believe God planned it that way!

2. I've learned that a great-grandchild can make a grumpy old OLD lady do things that even a grandchild could never make her do!

1. The number ONE thing I have learned from Luz is that grandchildren don't have to be of your own blood nor do they have to come in the shape of an infant in order for you to LOVE them just as though they were your own blood AND came to you as an infant! The only thing required is that they look you in the eye and call you Nana. (or grandma or gma or nanny or granny or diva or whatever name they choose!)

5. Your faith seems to be very important to you. Could you share with us a bit of your faith journey.

Before I answer this let me warn you that parts of my journey have been relayed here before... just not all at once... so for some of you this will be very repetitive... but Dr. John asked and I wanted to do it right... it's waaaaaay to long - and still leaves out waaaaaay too much! Please do not feel obligated to read it...

I can not count how many times I've been asked for my testimony in the past two years. I have never written one, or told one because I do not have a definitive moment when I came to know and love and accept Jesus Christ as my savior. BUT... that doesn't mean I don't have a journey. A journey I DO have. I have journeyed 51.5 years with Christ by my side! Even when I didn't really care if He was there or not. Even when he just tagged along with me uninvited. He is THAT loyal to me... even though I have not always been so loyal to Him. Soooo... the readers digest condensed version? (though it may not look like it!)

I know that God did indeed take me as His child upon my baptism as an infant. I know that because I do not ever remember a day in my life when I wasn't acutely aware that God is my Father, and Christ is my savior. If you EVER asked me directly "do you believe in God?" the answer was always an emphatic YES! But I was not what one would call a "Christian" teenager. (or a "good Christian" anything!) I look at the teens in my church today and think how I WISH I had been like them! How much farther in my journey I would BE today! I didn't "mind" church ... but it did seem to get in the way of more important things like sleep or television or the weekly top 20 countdown on WPGC. I HATED CCD class. I don't remember learning ANYthing in CCD... honestly! I was MADE to go, and skipped as often as I could! I hated school. I hung with the wrong crowd, I drank, experimented a little bit with pot - yep - me! And I got pregnant out of wedlock when I was 18 years old. And in spite of all that... God BLESSED me. He gave me the gift of a beautiful perfect child to love and to care for and He TRUSTED me to do it! And despite years and years of barely giving Him a thought, when Amanda became ill as an infant, and I thought she might die, I NEEDED to have her baptised. The hospital priest wouldn't do it because I admitted that if she lived I would probably have it done again for the ceremony! LOL! (I was 18 okay! Oh wait - actually it was my 19th birthday!) I did finally have her baptised when she was 5. At some time during those first five years, Christ and I started developing our relationship... I returned to church of my own free will and even put Amanda in CCD classes! But it didn't "stick"... it wasn't long before walking with Christ became too hard and I wanted to do things I wanted to do -- and I didn't WANT to feel guilty about them or even have to "confess" or admit they were wrong. And I certainly didn't want to think about how much I might be hurting HIM! Soooooo... I put Him back up on my imaginary shelf and I rarely even nodded at Him as I walked by. However... whenever I wasn't looking -- which was all the time -- He would shadow me! And when I got in a pickle he would always get me out of it. (sometimes I even remembered to thank Him for it - but not always) When Amanda was 3 and I was 22, I got my gallbladder out. I was working at the time and Amanda was attending a Montessori school that I could only afford because I only paid the Day Care part -- because we were so low income, she qualified for a grant for the "school" part. But when I had the surgery, I was off work for 3 MONTHS and by the grace of God, the school allowed Amanda to keep attending. I was able to pay my rent with what I was getting from Disability - which was only HALF of my income. Fortunately I was still receiving WIC - which gave us milk, cheese, eggs, cereal and juice. I made all my own bread and we survived! I remember being sO thrilled when Thanksgiving came and my work sent a Turkey to us! I cooked that turkey - and Amanda and I ate off of it for a MONTH! Just about that time the whole company received turkey's for our "Christmas bonus" and I had meat for another month! But THEN I went back to work, and I had to start paying the Montessori school back for the 3 months that they had let me slide. At that point things really got rough because since I was back to work everyone thought everything was fine now... and I was too proud to say that it wasn't! So I would pay the rent, and pay the day care plus another months day care... it would take me 3 months to get caught up! When all the bills were paid I had $30 left. For the month! Chicken pot pies cost 3 for a $1 back then! I would buy 30 of them and she and I would share one a night! That left me $20 for other things - food and non-food essentials. I still sometimes shake my head and wonder HOW we ever got through that... but we did! God provided! That's all I can say! But I know this... after 3 months of chicken pot pies, when I finally had money to spend on food again, Amanda and I both swore off pot pies for eternity! I've never eaten another one again! LOL! But God always provided. Whenever the cost of surviving got too high and I wasn't sure how I was going to feed Amanda tomorrow, suddenly I would find money on the bus... or on the street... and one time a bag of groceries just mysteriously showed up on my doorstep one morning. God is soooooooo good! He is soooooooo faithful! I wasn't going to church (again)... I wasn't even praying... but still... He knew my needs and He loved me so much he took care of me. I got bored with doing secretarial work and I was never going to make enough money to support Amanda on it... so He put a career counselor in my path, and SHE told me I needed to be in the construction trades! *a lightbulb moment!* THAT thought had never dawned on me, but I knew immediately she was right! I knew I would enjoy it! AND the pay was good! I tested for sheetmetal, electrical, and steamfitters and decided I would take the one that came first! Next thing I knew I was a sheetmetal worker! Workin' day by day with some of the foulest mouthed men in the state - among other faults! And I became one of 'em! Oh yea! I could cuss up a storm and ... well... I could cuss up a storm anyway! There was no way I would ever be able to keep up with their drinking and I didn't even wanna try! At any rate... it was during this time that God chose to bless me yet again -- uh huh! He's amazing! It didn't look like it at first - because I was dating this guy and even though I was not "in love" with him, I was still absolutely CRUSHED when he broke up with me - ON my birthday! Like I say - it wasn't that I really wanted him -- it was more that no guy had ever broken up with ME! I didn't like it! But I had this great "buddy" at work... my foreman actually... his name was Dennis and he let me cry on his shoulder. A few months later we started dating... God is goooooood! Of course, Dennis was not a Christian. Came from a loooooong line of unchurched people. When I got pregnant with Mathew, we decided it was time to get married. THIS actually started what would take me to where I am in my walk with Christ today. I knew that for me God had to be at my wedding. He needed to be smack dab in the center of it! Dennis would have rather gone to a Justice of the Peace and had a civil ceremony. THAT wasn't happening. But neither was HIM taking catechism classes and becoming a Christian. Sooooo I set out to find a minister who would marry us despite Dennis' atheism. We found Doug - a Unitarian minister who had actually married my (at the time) best friend too. At a very critical point, I suddenly changed my mind. I decided I wasn't sure I wanted to get married. I was almost positive God was telling me NOT to get married. I NEVER TOLD DENNIS that! I called my best friend, and she convinced me that I was just having cold feet and that everybody does and that I should just chill and get on with it. And that's what I did. BUT... that was NOT what I should have done. NOT because I don't belong married to Dennis. I do. God chose Dennis for me! But 22 years later, God has shown me only just recently, that He had a very definite reason for wanting me to postpone that wedding ... and IF I had listened I could have saved Dennis and I a LOT of heartbreak. God needed me to learn some things about myself -- and He was trying to get me to do it back then! I didn't listen. But He didn't "punish" me... He just let me live with the consequences of my decision. He continued to bless me! He gave me 3 more beautiful babies! He gave us a nice home. He's kept Dennis employed without fail and with the same company for all these years! We haven't always had a LOT - but we've always had enough. God has been SO faithful to me for alllllllll these years... but it could have been better. IF I had listened. IF I had listened we would have talked more... we would have known each other better... and God might have been a bigger part of our marriage - EVEN if Dennis had still remained an athiest. I might have gone ahead and had the 3 little ones baptised. In a church. A friend told me one time that I could baptise them myself in the bathtub - and I know I did do the twins -- but I don't remember doing Mathew. Doesn't mean I didn't do it - just means I don't remember doing it. But what I know is that because of MY disobedience, it has taken God a LOT longer to get ME to where he wanted me to be! And he's still working on me. The thing is... God's timing is always PERFECT. But if we are disobedient to what he says, He doesn't stop loving us. He doesn't stop blessing us. We just don't get ALL of the blessings that He had PLANNED for us! He knows what He wants to happen -- but He doesn't sit up there and MAKE it happen. He gave us choice. And sometimes we can really mess up even when we THINK we're trying to do what's right. I never told Dennis that I'd changed my mind ... I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But in the end, I hurt his feelings over and over and over again because I didn't deal with problems and learn the things that I should have learned BEFORE we married. Soooooo... now you know most of the story! And that's where I am in my journey! Two years ago, God said enough is enough! C'mon Melli, we're gonna take care of this! And He gave me the right friends and put me in the right places and he took me to the right church, and he drew me back to Him to be CLOSE to Him, now and FOREVER! And I am thanking Him and PRAISING Him every day!!! I really can not believe the changes He is making in my life! Even though I always knew he could... I guess I just never believed he WOULD... but now I know better!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snow At Last!!!

A nice soft fluffy kind!
We ended up getting about 4 inches --
which was double the prediction!

The birds were sOOO happy to have their
feeders out there! I had to go fill them a
couple of times!

And what got spilled did not get wasted!
I'm not sure if they are pledging allegiance to the flag - or
to the seed!

Derek had his friend Bobby come over so they could
tear up the back hill!

LOL!

Next he'll be wanting a snow maker!

And Dennis was THRILLED to be able to
unleash the BEAST from the garage!

He's been wanting to play with that plow all winter!
Poor man has owned that blade for 10 or 12 years now
and has only gotten to play with it a handful of times!

Off he goes!
Have FUN Babe!

Good thing he got to do that ...
the next day it looked like

... this...

... and like this.

He doesn't like scraping windows as much as he likes
scraping driveways... *sigh*

14 comment(s):

I read every word. I did know bits and pieces of your testimony but it is good to see it here in one chunk.

By Anonymous, at 1/29/2009 12:25 AM

I didn't realize that you had such rough times in your youth and together with a baby ! My life was completely different. I admire your faith. I was like that until I was maybe 20, I went to church and believed in god. Life told me then that I am better without church and religion. I certainly believe in something, but I can't say in what.
Apparently you also have an exceptional winter, and I read this morning that it will snow even more around Washington !
Mr. Gattino is tired but feels like a fish in the water !

By Ingrid, at 1/29/2009 9:24 AM

I'm glad your hubby got to play with his snow plow toy. ;) Men and their toys are so humorous!

PS: I'm posting a contest tomorrow, and you're already entered, because you wrote a rockin' review for my book. You are so awesome!

By Carmen Shirkey Collins, at 1/29/2009 9:47 AM

I read every word, too!

First of all, since Ms. Luz (and now her Nana) like Pirates, I am thinking you need to bring her to Tampa one January/February for our annual Gasparilla Parade. It's a HUGE pirate invasion complete with ships and beads and people LOVE IT.

Secondly, I LOVE reading your earlier testimony. Isn't it neat to see how God carries us through even when we do it "our way"???

You are SUCH a blessing to me.

Love,

Susan

By Susan, at 1/29/2009 10:56 AM

Thank you SO much for sharing your testimony. Some of it I did not know and I feel I know you so much better. I just LOVE how God just keeps on nudging us and prodding us. He never gives up and I am glad!

I also loved the pictures....just wish we had some of that snow.

By Jane, at 1/29/2009 12:02 PM

I love your memo on what you learned from Luz.
Today I could really use a hug from God.

By Maribeth, at 1/29/2009 12:12 PM

Good job on answering Dr. John's questions. Loved your answers and love you. God is amazing and so patient. Enjoy the snow. Ours is already gone. Gotcha prayed up.

By Lazy Daisy, at 1/29/2009 1:52 PM

Some great answers, and what a wonder testimony. Finding god for so many is difficult, and hard. Yet reading your entry would make it so much better for so many.

Warmest

By Family Man, at 1/29/2009 4:40 PM

I did not know that you were WANTING snow!! who really wants it? But i guess you do..so glad that you got it..I do not miss that at all really I don't. I had it for so many many years so now it can stay away...Nice to see your pictures and read your answers to the questions...You did good...Sandy

By Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess, at 1/29/2009 6:02 PM

Great answers. You have become so Lutheran that grace just pours from you.
Well you got your snow.

By Dr.John, at 1/29/2009 7:22 PM

great job again on the answers. Your faith story was well written.

By bettygram, at 1/29/2009 10:23 PM

Wow... Melli, Your Faith story is very inspiring and I read all of it. I am glad you are where you are today with God...I am so blessed to have you in my life...my true and loving friend..

The snow pictures are great... looks like fun..You and Luz are like two peas in a pod!!! She has been good for you...

Fred is having surgery in the morning to have his kidney stone removed..it is too big to break it up with sound waves...please say a little prayer for him..I have got to get to bed early and be up at 4:30am.... Hugs, Baba

By Baba, at 1/29/2009 10:35 PM

Those pictures are gorgeous!

Loved what you learned from Luz! I'll especially have to remember that what they like to do with Nana may be different from what they like to do with Mom. That's probably a good thing.

I enjoyed reading about your journey of faith. I had read parts of it before. I am a little confused about what you said about baptism, though. My understanding is that baptism in itself is not what makes you a believer but it is an outward sign of what is going on in your heart.

Love your emphasis that God is faithful and loving even when we're not.

By Anonymous, at 1/31/2009 12:28 AM

Wow!! It's pretty but damn it looks COLD!

By Anonymous, at 2/01/2009 3:24 PM

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

An Interview With ... Moi! (Part II).... and WEATHER... at last!

14 comment(s):