Hide~n~Seek!
Where am I?
Where AM I?
WHERE am I???
Where AM I?
WHERE am I???
Olly Olly Oxen FREEEEEE! LOL! I yam HERE! I have not been missing! I have been around to some of your blogs... I have simply been trying ... oh TRYING... God BLESS me, I've been TRYING to get my house clean! Have I succeeded? Noooo... not even close! But I've been trying! Of course, had it NOT rained today that might have helped, because once I got the kitchen floor scrubbed and the foyer floor scrubbed, then Jewl went outside to ... ummm... bark -- and when she came back IN, she hit every bloomin' block on the kitchen floor!!! I guess when ya have 4 feet it's not so hard to do that... but dang! I could have done without it! The foyer floor faired a little better -- only Derek's 2 size 10's clomped across it (without wiping his feet).
And then... there's always the amount of HELP I get cleaning to consider! You know... I let mom DUST! oh... did I mention we had to take doing dishes away from her??? Yes... she developed a "thought" of her own... risky business that! And this "thought" told her that she should start putting the dishes AWAY too. Only the thought FORGOT to remind her to ALWAYS wash them first... so I started finding dirty dishes put away in the MOST outlandish places! But sometimes I found dirty dishes put away in the RIGHT places... and that was even WORSE!!! Sooooooooo... no more dishes for mom! Tis sad... BUT... there is the Swiffer Duster! Yea... Mom's not crazy about dusting... she keeps bringing it back to me and asking me where she should PUT it. So far I have kept my Christian tongue on that! Instead I just keep reminding her that the top of the mantle and the ceiling fans exist. But actually she had to dust the television 4 times before the screen was even clean.
When the children were small, Derek's psychologist had given me this GREAT tip for "punishing" the children when they didn't want to help with their chores... and other infractions. He suggested I get a big bag of packing peanuts and scatter them.... and have them pick them up and put them back in the bag! For a LONG time I owned 3 big green trashbags FULL of packing peanuts ... Oh my kids hated to see those bags come out! BUT... Krysti suggested I get a bag for MOM! "DO it Mom! It'll give her something to DO!" ... LOL! Instead I got a jar of marbles. I can scatter it and blame it on the cat! MOM! Will you pick these up please???? Don't BE like that! Do NOT judge me! Leave that to God.... I think HE gets it!
I have noticed this... Mom does not come NEAR me if I am doing one of two things. If I am cleaning out the fireplace, she is as scarce as snowflakes in July... (in the northern hemisphere). She does NOT want to risk being asked to help with THAT!!! LOL! And the other thing is when I'm cleaning the kitty litter box. Now this is FUNNY! The kitty litter box is in my powder room ... If I'm washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking dinner, whatever - Mom is standing about half an inch away from me... and asks about every 3.5 seconds if there is anything she can do to help. You know, I've spent 20 years wishing for somebody to offer to help! (God DOES have a sense of humor!) But the other day I was cleaning the kitty litter -- and not just scooping - but replacing the litter. I looked up and in the mirror I saw Mom standing... quiet as a little church mouse... just standing about 4 feet back into the kitchen --- just where she could keep an eye on ME - but thought she was out of my site! I was LAUGHING my butt off on the inside! Then... as soon as I got it all cleaned up and set back in place and started tying up the trash bag, she walked in and said can I help with anything? LOL! I swear one night while I'm cookin' dinner and she is trippin' me up throughout the kitchen, and asking for something to do ... I'm gonna GIVE her kitty litter!!! LOL! (nooooooo... I won't... I wouldn't DARE! ... but it's fun to think about!)
Soooooooo... anyway... no... I haven't been lost or sick or dead or missing.... I've just been trying to catch up on living! And it doesn't matter WHAT I do anymore -- it ALL goes a little (or a lot) slower than it used to!
And then... there's always the amount of HELP I get cleaning to consider! You know... I let mom DUST! oh... did I mention we had to take doing dishes away from her??? Yes... she developed a "thought" of her own... risky business that! And this "thought" told her that she should start putting the dishes AWAY too. Only the thought FORGOT to remind her to ALWAYS wash them first... so I started finding dirty dishes put away in the MOST outlandish places! But sometimes I found dirty dishes put away in the RIGHT places... and that was even WORSE!!! Sooooooooo... no more dishes for mom! Tis sad... BUT... there is the Swiffer Duster! Yea... Mom's not crazy about dusting... she keeps bringing it back to me and asking me where she should PUT it. So far I have kept my Christian tongue on that! Instead I just keep reminding her that the top of the mantle and the ceiling fans exist. But actually she had to dust the television 4 times before the screen was even clean.
When the children were small, Derek's psychologist had given me this GREAT tip for "punishing" the children when they didn't want to help with their chores... and other infractions. He suggested I get a big bag of packing peanuts and scatter them.... and have them pick them up and put them back in the bag! For a LONG time I owned 3 big green trashbags FULL of packing peanuts ... Oh my kids hated to see those bags come out! BUT... Krysti suggested I get a bag for MOM! "DO it Mom! It'll give her something to DO!" ... LOL! Instead I got a jar of marbles. I can scatter it and blame it on the cat! MOM! Will you pick these up please???? Don't BE like that! Do NOT judge me! Leave that to God.... I think HE gets it!
I have noticed this... Mom does not come NEAR me if I am doing one of two things. If I am cleaning out the fireplace, she is as scarce as snowflakes in July... (in the northern hemisphere). She does NOT want to risk being asked to help with THAT!!! LOL! And the other thing is when I'm cleaning the kitty litter box. Now this is FUNNY! The kitty litter box is in my powder room ... If I'm washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking dinner, whatever - Mom is standing about half an inch away from me... and asks about every 3.5 seconds if there is anything she can do to help. You know, I've spent 20 years wishing for somebody to offer to help! (God DOES have a sense of humor!) But the other day I was cleaning the kitty litter -- and not just scooping - but replacing the litter. I looked up and in the mirror I saw Mom standing... quiet as a little church mouse... just standing about 4 feet back into the kitchen --- just where she could keep an eye on ME - but thought she was out of my site! I was LAUGHING my butt off on the inside! Then... as soon as I got it all cleaned up and set back in place and started tying up the trash bag, she walked in and said can I help with anything? LOL! I swear one night while I'm cookin' dinner and she is trippin' me up throughout the kitchen, and asking for something to do ... I'm gonna GIVE her kitty litter!!! LOL! (nooooooo... I won't... I wouldn't DARE! ... but it's fun to think about!)
Soooooooo... anyway... no... I haven't been lost or sick or dead or missing.... I've just been trying to catch up on living! And it doesn't matter WHAT I do anymore -- it ALL goes a little (or a lot) slower than it used to!
posted by Melli at
5:22 PM
7 comment(s):
Melli, if you ever get your house clean you are welcome to come clean mine -- and afterward we can slip down to the beach .....
By
Anonymous, at
2/26/2008 11:36 PM
I know it's one of those it's-funny-but-it's-not things, but I get so much out of your posts about your mil. I love your sense of humor!
When my mil was here visiting, she offered to help a lot, too, and I remember thinking it was just like when my kids were little -- I probably should have let them "help" more, but so often it was just so much easier to do things myself. Fortunately Mom loves to read and could easily get lost in a good book, so I told her just to enjoy her vacation, and she'd go read. I know if she lived here it would be a different story, though. But I do have memories of things like her trying to open the box of cereal -- upside down. Thankfully I aught it before it spilled all over.
By
Anonymous, at
2/26/2008 11:42 PM
Melli,
I'm so glad to see you back...I'd got worried about ya. I gotta clean my house pretty good like in the next few days. We have a lot of meetings and stuff next week...Lord, I hope it is next week. :)
Catch ya when we get our houses clean enough to check on each other.
By
Anonymous, at
2/27/2008 12:31 AM
Ah ! you are finally back ! (apparently you are not allowed anymore to have a real life !) I just thought yesterday evening, If she doesn't show up tomorrow, I will send an email just asking if you weren't sick. Fortunately it's not the case ! The thing with the marples is great !! You earn 10 Oscars for this !! I think I will buy a bag of marples too in case I have to keep a child busy, lol !
By
Ingrid, at
2/27/2008 12:41 AM
You have a good reason why you have been away, I need some blogging vitamins to get me back on track... plus my pc is giving me a hard time
... as scarce as snowflakes in July... (in the northern hemisphere) I loved that sentence, lol!
At any rate, are you considering windows too? just wondering...mine remind me every day I should do something about them.
By
MaR, at
2/27/2008 8:00 AM
Melli. This is of course so funny and so like you but it is sad at the same time. I wonder sometimes why I am doing some of the things that I am doing and here you here virtually stuck with your MIL and not any time to yourself at all. I guess I should shut up and say that my life is just fine for now.
I do love how you write about this and have always loved how you write. I hope just putting it down here helps a little bit with therapy!!
Take care and know that you are doing a wonderful thing. Sandy
By
Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess, at
2/27/2008 8:13 AM
Quilly - with just you and OC living there, I could have your little apartment clean in about 15 minutes! LET's SWIM!!!
Barbara - I would give ANYTHING if MIL would read a book!!! Even if she read the first page 600 times!
Amber - Sorry I worried you dear! I sometimes forget that I need to post "SOMEthing" so the world knows I haven't fallen off!
Gattina - you know... it was ONLY 2 days that I did NOT post... other people seem to get away with this! LOL! I'm hoping the marbles will be a good diversion -- I'll let ya know!
Mar -- Oh WINDOWS! Now THAT could be a fun "Spring" project for her.... Of course... it would mean I would have to be willing to go along behind and take care of the ... um... smears. But if I am VERY ambitious one day ... who knows??? Thanks for the suggestion!
Floozie -- It is all bittersweet. Ya know... OLD AGE is NO FUN, all by itself! But when you add alzheimer's into the mix - well... you just GOTTA laugh! I think LAUGHTER is THE most important part of dealing with this disease! Ya just GOTTA! It's not that I don't wanna just wring her living neck sometimes... but I do TRY to keep a handle on it - and LAUGH!
By
Melli, at
2/27/2008 9:17 AM
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